Fred and the Magic Factory
by Jayne Cobb09
Summary: After receiving a magenta envelope in the mail, Angel Investigations is taken on a tour of a Magic Factory, not knowing what they are getting themselves dragged into. What happens when the mice sing and Fred is the only one left? COMPLETE!
1. The Magenta Invitation

**I was wondering what to say but figured there really isn't anything much to explain why this idea came into my head. . . so just enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Angel and the basic idea for the whole story belongs to Roald Dahl, meaning (if you hadn't guessed) "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." The songs are from the movie, I only changed the words to fit the characters and the situation. The only things I own is the owner of the Magic Factory and the mice. **

**Songs are in **_italics._

**Thoughts are in _bold and italics._**

**Notes, such as these, are in plain bold. DUH. **

Chapter One – The Magenta Invitation

It was a seemingly normal day at the Hyperion Hotel for Angel Investigations. The day being seemingly normal is never usually a good thing. Cordelia was taking her time in re-reorganizing the files in the many cabinets and she yawned discontentedly.

She never wanted something to go wrong this badly in her life. At that time, Angel and Wesley came scuffling out of Angel's office and Gunn and Fred made their way down the stairs.

"Any calls?" Angel sighed, straightening a pen on the tabletop.

"No. You think if there was I would be standing here?" she glared at her friend.

"We really do need money." Gunn pointed out and Cordelia looked to Angel with an "I-told-you-so" look that deemed unnecessary.

"Well. . . I don't know what to say." Angel shrugged and Wesley took a step forward, finding this an appropriate time to say what was on his mind.

"Ahem." He cleared his throat to get the attention of the group. It turned out that the throat clearing was not needed as everyone had focused on him when he stepped forward.

"Yes, Wesley?" Cordelia asked, annoyance perking in her voice while Wesley took quite a long pause.

"During some research I discovered that a ways off in Los Angeles there is a seemingly abandoned factory. But actually, inside there is a magic factory." Wesley smiled happily and placed his hands behind his back.

"Meaning what?" Gunn pressured.

"Meaning we have to go shut it down, right?" Fred suggested and Wesley nodded before continuing.

"It's evil magic. Black magic. The owner is supplying that black magic items to demons all over."

"So, what? We just bust the door down?" Angel questioned Wesley as to how they planned to get inside. Wesley's smiled became quickly downcast.

"That's the problem. You need to be invited to take a tour of the factory. The invitations are rare."

"How rare?" Angel asked, hoping his friend was exaggerating the word "rare". Wesley sighed and bit the inside of his cheek before answering.

"Only one group gets asked. . . a year."

"A YEAR!" Cordelia squeaked. "With our luck, the tour happened last month." She rolled her eyes.

"Actually, I checked and the tourists are being chosen this month so we have a chance yet!" Wesley smiled again but it didn't convince Cordelia one bit. Fred turned from the group to pick up the mail that had just been slipped through the mail slot.

Fred carried it back to the counter and tossed it down. She rested her glasses on her nose and began to sort through the mess. At the bottom of the pile was a shiny, magenta envelope.

"Wow." Was all she said before handing it to Angel. Angel sniffed it and then stopped realizing how stupid that must have looked. He lifted the flap and pulled out the piece of paper inside, which was also magenta. The writing was bright green and very curly.

It was frustrating to try and read, but read it Angel did. And here's what it said:

"Howdy, hello! I, Janice Beatrice, am pleased to announce you

and four friends are invited to take a tour of my magic factory!

I will be conducting the tour myself on March 27 right at 10:13 am.

Be on time or I will be forced to curse you.

With gypsies.

See you soon!"

Angel lowered the paper from his eyes and scanned his friends faces. A couple looked eager while the rest looked disinterested.

"March 27th is tomorrow." Fred whispered. Everyone was silent a moment more.

"Well, that's convenient." Angel sighed.

**How do you like so far? No flames, those make me sad. **


	2. Welcome to the Magic Factory!

**I don't write a lot of humor so give me a chapter or two to settle into things. . . By the way, forgot to mention, I am Janice Beatrice. No, that is not my real name nor my author name. Why? Because you don't get my real name and my author name wouldn't fit with the story. So yes, I put myself in my story. . . **

Chapter Two – Welcome to the Magic Factory!

It was 9:40am at Los Angeles, a bright warm morning, though clouds loomed in the distance signaling the chance of rain later in the day. Not that it bothered the members of Angel Investigations. No, at the moment the group was tearing down the highway to make it to the factory on time.

"Can't you go any faster?" Cordelia attempted to pull her hair back out of her face for the third time.

"If I went any faster I'd get pulled over and then we'd NEVER get there!" Angel yelled back to his friend. **_I knew I should've put the top up. _**Angel thought and gritted his teeth, fearing they would be late. Being cursed by a gypsy once was enough.

The stark landscape didn't change much and the large, concrete factory, smoke billowing from the top, looked rather out of place on the flat land. Angel parked the car outside the gate and checked his watch. It was 10:10am. Three minutes to go before they went inside.

Gunn was first to stand at the gate followed quickly by Wesley, Fred, Cordelia and finally Angel. The wind whistled in their ears and Cordelia made a weak attempt to shield her ears. Angel checked his watch again. 10:13am. They stood. And waited. And waited.

They were about to give this up and call it a practical joke when the iron gate creaked open carefully.

"STEP INSIDE!" a voice bellowed from seemingly nowhere. Everyone paused a moment before complying. As soon as Angel stepped inside the gate slammed closed again.

"OKAY! WAIT THERE!" the voice bellowed again, sounding as if it was laughing with glee. The group did as the voice ordered and stopped short a foot or two in front of the steps leading to the door.

Suddenly, the huge front doors banged open with an echoing CRASH, chipping concrete from the walls where the doors hit. Angel raised his eyebrows slightly fearing what kind of thing had the power to open doors that hard.

What jumped down the stairs was not what anybody was expecting, as you could tell by the thump of five jaws smacking the ground. Standing on the top step in front of them was a girl who appeared to be about 15 years old. Her short blonde hair peeked out from her black bowler hat.

She was wearing a baggy pair of dark blue jeans that dragged on the ground. You could just see what shoes she was wearing and they were a pair of sandals that looked like next year, they wouldn't fit. She was also wearing a light brown shirt depicting a squirrel holding a bat, standing in front of a pile of nuts. Above the picture on the shirt read "Protect Your Nuts."

Over her clothes she wore an ankle long black raincoat, a Macintosh raincoat, and a pair of black leather gloves were placed on her hands. The girl pushed up the pair of rectangular red glasses up her nose and smiled at her new friends.

"You're a fifteen year old GIRL!" Cordelia blinked angrily at the sight in front of her.

"Nice guess. I suppose the way I'm dressed didn't give much away. Come along, we don't have all day!" the girl turned to go inside and finally realized the rest of the group wasn't following her. "We really have no time to dilly dally."

"Where's Janice Beatrice?" Wesley called out. The girl closed her eyes and sighed.

"My name is Janice Beatrice and welcome to my Magic Factory!" Janice spread her arms wide and bowed. "Can we go now?" she straightened her back and everyone followed her inside.

The walls were dark purple and the ceiling was dark red. Mahogany hooks hung along the walls and dim lights hung from the ceiling.

"Hang your coats on the hooks please." Janice politely ordered. After that was done, the group headed down the hallway towards a door at the end.

"How did a fifteen year old gain control of a black magic making factory?" Gunn pushed his way up next to Janice. She made not attempt to look up at him and answered.

"Because I did."

"Okay. . . " Gunn scratched his head and backed off. Angel finally made his way up front.

"My name's. . ." Angel began to introduce himself.

"Angel." Janice finished for him. "And the rest of you are Cordelia Chase, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Charles Gunn, and the oh-so lovely Winifred Burkle." Janice sighed as they finally reached the door, missing the looks of astonishment on the faces of her guests.

Janice pulled a red sparkling key from her raincoat pocket and waved it in the nearest person's, who happened to be Wesley's, face.

"Oh beautiful." He gasped.

"Oh thank you. . ." Janice paused. "OH! You mean the key! Not. . . me." Janice coughed nervously at the strange looks she was receiving. "Anyway, are you ready for the first stop?"

"Do we have a choice?" Angel shoved his hands in his coat pockets. He was the only one, besides Janice, who had refused to remove their coat.

"There's the spirit!" Janice smiled and shoved the key into the lock. She grinned from ear to ear and pushed the door open. Fred was the first to see inside.

"Oh, Lordy."

**I promise not to post the chapters too fast. . . **


	3. That Was Quick

**. . .but you know how I am with promises. . . I do not own any of the songs. I just changed them around for my own amusement. **

Chapter Three – That Was Quick

"Exactly." Janice nodded and walked into the room. Everyone eventually followed and stared around in wonder. The room was huge and seemed to continue on forever. In every inch there was something brewing or exploding or something magical. The walls were a deep brown colored wood, but ivy was hanging from it.

The floor was dirt and grass and it was littered with scraps of paper and some things that no one wanted to know. At the moment nobody was actually stirring the potions and such and appeared to be doing it themselves.

Running right through was a river of clear blue water that looked perfect to drink. And smack dab in the middle of the room was a red 2005 Ford Mustang GT. Gunn's eyes lit up.

"Man! That is. . ."

"Yeah. Don't touch it." Janice ordered, frowning. She quickly smiled again though. "Welcome to the. . . The Room!"

"The Room?" Wesley raised an eyebrow. Janice turned to him a sighed remorsefully.

"I'm a little stuck on the name at the moment. You like?"

"I actually find it kinda boring." Cordelia crossed her arms and observed the room once more.

"That's a shame. I rather enjoy this room. Well, go ahead. Look around. DON"T touch ANYTHING!" Janice called to her guests before they were out of earshot. Fred and Wesley went straight over to see the books while Angel went to look at the weapons that were in the process of being made.

Cordelia, bored already, went to go see some pretty pink liquid that was in the process of being pumped into some bright sky blue liquid. It was rather pretty. Meanwhile, Gunn made his way to the car. He was peeking into a window and so desperately wanted to sit inside.

"These books are amazing!" Wesley went to open it when his hand was slapped away. Fred shook her head with wide eyes.

"She said not to touch."

"Oh, I know. . ." Wesley grew disappointed. Gunn couldn't stand it anymore and he put his hand on the handle of the drivers seat. Angel saw him and furrowed his brow.

"Gunn! I don't think that's a good idea! Gunn!" Angel began making his way to Gunn as did everyone else and a very upset Janice.

"That's a prototype! Please. . . don't." Janice begged but it was too late and Gunn was inside.

"What does it do!" Angel panicked, fearing for his friend. Janice looked up at him and sighed.

"It's for demons. They sit inside and when they come out they smell attractive to humans. The humans come near and. . . well, you can guess the rest."

"Is it going to hurt him?" Cordelia asked.

"Oh, no, of course not!" Janice laughed and suddenly all grew quiet and little white mice began scampering to form a line on the floor.

"EEP! Mice!" Fred backed away slightly.

"Oh, look they're going to sing for us! I'm surprised one of you went to fast. . ."

"Wait. They sing!" Angel nearly fell over finally realizing they got themselves into more than they could handle. . . again. Music started and they had to admit, it was very catchy. Janice began bob her head along while the rest stared in wonder.

The car started to drive around the room, kicking up dust as the mice sung and danced their song:

_Charles Gunn! Charles Gunn!_

_He's soon to have a spot of fun!_

_Charles Gunn!_

_So proud and armed_

_So strong, foul, and safely charmed_

_'Lets go!' we cried, 'Time can't be beat_

_To make him try the drivers seat!_

_But don't, dear children, be alarmed;_

_Charles Gunn will not be harmed,_

_Charles Gunn will not be harmed_

_Although, of course, we must admit_

_He will be altered quite a bit._

_Slowly, wheels go round and round,_

_The engine starts to grind and pound;_

_We let him drive a minute more,_

_Until we're absolutely sure_

_Then out he comes! By God! By grace!_

_A miracle has taken place!_

_A miracle has taken place!_

_This happy brute, this joyful tester,_

_Will find we are quite the jester!_

_For who could hate or tell me whether_

_You don't like the smell of new car leather?_

The car drove through a dark tunnel that didn't seem to be there before and disappeared. The mice bowed and scampered off again.

"Did those mice just sing!" Cordelia stomped her foot.

"Yup." Janice nodded. There was another pause of silence before Angel spoke.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah. He'll be fine. You can catch up with him later." Janice waved it off like stuff like that happened everyday. Which, if Angel Investigations had known, stuff like that DID happen everyday at the factory. At that time a big motor boat the color of a granny smith apple came to meet them by the river.

"What is going on!" Cordelia questioned, but got no answer back.

"All aboard! Next stop, the library!" Janice laughed as everyone climbed into the boat.

"The library?" Wesley paused, halfway in, halfway out of the boat.

"Hurry up, get in the boat. I don't want to take half of you there. I'd rather prefer the whole thing thank you." The boat stated up and everyone sat in silence until. . .

"Did those mice sing!"


	4. The Library

**I got the "Protect Your Nuts" t-shirt at Target. **

Chapter Four – The Library

Janice whistled and tapped her foot as the boat sailed down the river. Fred was sitting next to her in the top seat, being the last one to climb into the boat.

"Do. . . the mice do that often?" Fred quietly asked Janice.

"Well, it depends I suppose. If it's called for, yes." Janice reached into her pocket and pulled out a Tupperware. She then proceeded open the Tupperware and revealed a taco. She handed it to Fred. "You better eat it before I change my mind. That was my lunch."

"Thank. . . thank you!" Fred immediately brightened up and crunched quietly into the taco with sheer delight. Janice looked around and saw Cordelia staring up at her.

"What!" Janice stared back.

"Who's driving the boat?"

"I dunno." Janice shrugged and looked straight ahead again. "Oh, look! The furniture room!" She pointed to it as they passed by. "That's the room where we enchant furniture to eat people! The unsuspecting victim. . ." Janice whispered and then paused before yelling, ". . . of a murderous couch! It sucks you in between the cushions where you then live and die with the crap that gets stuck under couch cushions!"

Everyone sitting below stared up at the girl worriedly except for Fred who was almost done eating. When she finished, Fred licked her fingers off and burped silently.

"That was very good."

"Don't mention it." Janice nodded slightly.

""But really, I. . ."

"No, really. Don't mention it." Janice pointed to Angel, Wesley and Cordelia. "If you do, everyone will want one." She whispered in Fred's ear.

"Okay. Sorry."

"No need for apologies." Janice stood, shaking the boat. "STOP!" she bellowed and the boat stopped so forcefully that Angel, who wasn't holding on, went flying out of the boat and landed with a splash in the river. "Did you not hear me say 'stop'?" Janice looked at the now soaked Angel when they were all on dry land.

The group walked to a large metal door with the words "LIBRARY" over head.

"your library must be huge!" Wesley sidled up next to Janice.

"Yeah, I guess. Welcome to the library. Before I open the door I must remind you of the "look don't touch" rule your friend broke. You see with your eyes, not with your hands." Janice slipped the key into the lock and the door swung open.

Every wall in the room was a bookshelf and books were stuffed in every nook and cranny of the shelves leaving no room for anything else. A long, shiny wooden table was placed neatly in the center of the room and chairs were randomly placed around.

"Amazing!" Wesley pushed inside first, everyone following short after. They all began perusing the shelves and asking questions.

"I thought they stopped making this book!" Fred pointed to a thick leather covered book at eye level.

"They did. This is the only copy left." Janice pulled it from the shelf and flipped to any page. "Oh, fudge."

"What?"

"No, look. I got fudge on this page. It took me a minute to figure out what it was is all." Janice pointed to the dark brown spot before awkwardly throwing the book back on the shelf.

"You got FUDGE on the only and last copy of that book!" she yelped and then covered her mouth.

"Oh, calm down." Janice rolled her eyes.

"My lord!" Wesley gasped and pointed to an amazingly thick book sitting on the table. Everyone crowded around Wesley and Janice.

"Ah yes. The Book of Everything. It has, well, everything about Black magic and who practices it on it's pages. Not quite perfected yet though."

Wesley didn't listen and picked up the heavy book. Janice tried to pull it away, but it was too late and Wesley opened it.

"Amazing. . ." Wesley gasped.

"Please, put that down! It's not quite finished. . ." Janice begged.

"I've never even heard of this species before. . ." Wesley flipped a page.

"That's great! Put it down." Janice moaned and stomped her feet. Suddenly, Cordelia gasped. The words started falling off the page and settling themselves on Wesley. Everyone backed away.

"What is happening!" Angel yelled.

"I tried telling you! The words keep leaving the pages and going other places." Janice explained.

"How do we get them off?" Fred cried.

"I don't know yet."

"We have to take him with us!" Angel went to walk over to Wesley as words began traveling up his neck to his face. Janice pulled Angel back.

"He would slow us down. We'll let the mice take care of him." Janice pointed to the mice who were lining up in formation on the table. Everyone backed away a little more towards the door as music began. The mice began dancing and singing again. . .

_Listen close, and listen hard, the tale of Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. _

_The skillful man he sees no wrong..._

_Research, research, research, research, research, research all day long._

_research, research all day long. _

_research, research all day long. _

_research, research all day long._

_He goes on searching till at last, his finger muscles grow so fast. _

_And from his tip, a paper cut, hurts just like a punctured gut..._

_research, research all day long. _

_research, research all day long. _

_research, research all day long._

_For years and years he reads away, his hands get stronger every day. _

_And with one great tremendous turn...they rip the poor man's page in two. _

_And that is why we try so hard, to save Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce._

_research, research all day long. _

_research, research all day long. _

_research, research all day long._

Janice, Cordelia, Angel and Fred walked carefully out of the room and the door slammed behind them.

"Well, that was entertaining. Looks like we're walking to the next room." Janice sighed and motioned for everyone to continue forward.

"What's the next room?" Angel asked as they walked.

"The Jewel Room." Janice stated.

"The jewel what?" Cordelia brightened up.

**You like the songs so far? Gunn and Angel's were the hardest to change and Cordelia and Wesley's were the easiest. Go figure. **


	5. Hello, Welcome to Reality

**Yeah. . . I actually have nothing to say at the moment. The only I had to change in Cordelia's song was the name because the rest fit. My favorite song is Wesley's out of all of them. **

Chapter Five – Hello, Welcome to Reality

It seemed like they had been walking for hours but when Angel checked his watch only 20 minutes had passed from when they had left Wesley. That hadn't stopped Cordelia from complaining.

"I haven't seen anything interesting yet and my friends keep disappearing!" Cordelia walked briskly behind Janice. Janice kept huffing and this was finally the last straw.

"RELAX! GOSH! GIVE ME A BREAK!" she threw her hands up in the air and Cordelia finally stopped talking.

After about ten more minutes they reached a pink door and Angel swore he saw Janice gag. She pulled a set of keys from one of her pockets and swung them on her finger before opening the door.

"Well, here's the Jewel Room. In here we have all kinds of evil gems and jewels sorted through to check if they're real or not. Usually they are but every now and then. . ." Janice winked before focusing her attention on the keys. While she tried to search for the key to the door, Fred turned to Angel.

"Don't you find this all rather strange? I mean, how could these mice know everything already? How did she know our names?" Fred asked and all Angel had to offer was a shrug. Cordelia, who had been listening to their conversation, interrupted.

"I want to know how the mice can talk and where a fifteen year old girl gets off talking to me like that." She sighed and Angel and Fred laughed not knowing she was serious.

"Hey! No secrets!" Janice found the right key and Fred found it strange Janice wanted no secrets but told her to keep quiet about the taco. "After you Cordelia." Janice let her in first and walked in herself followed shortly after by Angel and finally Fred.

The four of them stood on a balcony and looked down. Below them, all around the room, rats sorted through the gems that kept falling. Most of the time they threw them into a chute by their table but every now and again one rat would toss one down a giant hole on the middle of the floor.

"Those are. . . rats." Cordelia was slightly creeped out.

"Hm? Yeah. 100 trained rats to pick out the fake gems and jewels." Janice nodded.

"Are they all your pets?" Fred ventured to ask.

"Oh, no. Only one of them is my pet. See the white one with brown spots?" Janice pointed vaguely downwards. It wasn't hard to find – out of all the white rats, the one Janice was referring to was the only white one with brown spots.

"Yeah. There it is." Fred gestured to the rat. "What's it's name?"

"Darla."

"WHAT!" Angel yelped and Janice stared at him with a huge grin. "Darla?"

"What's wrong with. . . oh! Darla. I get it." Janice nodded and Fred got the feeling she knew it the whole time and Fred found it rather funny herself but made sure not to express it. "Anyway, most of the time, as I was saying, we get the real deal and we expect nothing less. But then again, sometimes things try to pull a fast one on me. That's why I have these rats."

"Where does that hole in the floor lead to?" Angel tried to look down it from his position but could see nothing but blackness.

"That, my friend is the chute leading down into the garbage." Janice smiled as if she knew something they didn't which, she did. Before she said anything else, Janice paused. She checked her own watch and stared up at Angel. "How did you. . . how did you get here without burning up?" she asked him.

"I. . . I don't know. How did I do that? I was wondering how long it would take until someone noticed." He looked to the floor and then the ceiling. Janice seemed to look somewhat disturbed but finally let it go.

"Doesn't matter. You're here now. It'll be dark when you leave." Janice turned back to observe her rats with glee. Suddenly, as Cordelia watched the rats as well she saw something sparkle.

She loved sparkly things. Cordelia tried to resist going to take it, but it was so beautiful and if she didn't go just then, the rat was going to throw it in it's chute. So, she climbed over the balcony and down the ladder.

"Cordelia!" Fred called, grabbing the attention of Janice. Janice's eyes widened.

"Don't touch Darla's gems! She'll bite you!" Janice called out desperately.

"You have no idea how wrong that sounded to me." Angel grimaced. Janice thought about it a moment and grimaced her face as well.

"Ew. Your right."

Cordelia was just there. . . almost touching it . . . when Darla stopped what she was doing and turned. She stood still a moment and then began climbing up Cordelia's arm. The other rats saw Darla, their leader, climbing on the human and follow suit. Cordelia screamed and tried to shake them off but nothing worked. She started backing up, forgetting about the garbage chute in the floor and before anyone had a chance to warn her, Cordelia fell in.

The rats managed to jump off at the right time and listened to her fall until they turned back around and went back to work like nothing happened.

"Cordy!" Angel yelled out. Janice shook her head.

"Don't worry, they only let out the dogs on Thursdays."

"Today's Sunday, right?" Fred asked and Angel nodded. Fred let out a breath of relief. Suddenly, there were the mice again and the music began. . .

_Cordelia Chase, the little brute,_

_Has just gone down the garbage chute_

_And she will meet as she descends_

_A rather different set of friends_

_A rather different set of friends_

_A rather different set of friends_

_A fish head, for example, cut_

_This morning from a halibut._

_An oyster from an oyster stew,_

_A steak that no one else would chew,_

_And lots of other things as well,_

_Each with a rather horrid smell._

_horrid smell_

_These are Cordelia's new found friends_

_That she will meet as she descends,_

_These are Cordelia's new found friends_

_Who went and spoiled her_

_Who indeed?_

_Who pandered to her every need?_

_Who turned her into such a brat?_

_Who are the culprits? Who did that?_

_The guilty ones now this is sad_

_Dear Old Mum and Loving Dad_

"That was a little rude." Angel huffed.

"Yeah. I'll talk to them about that later then." Janice sighed. "Bye Darla!" she waved before walking out of the room.

"What about Cordelia?" Fred asked as the door slammed.

"Oh, the mice will let her out. Alright you two, I'm tired of walking. What do you say we take the Enchanted Escalator?"

"The Enchanted Escalator?"

"Yup. And here we are. Step on and all you have to do is tell it where to go. Close your eyes and there you are." They made their way to the first step.

"Close your eyes? Why? Something I shouldn't see. . .?" Angel laughed. . .

**So, I realized in this chapter that there was no possible way Angel could have driven at 9:40 am with the top down and that he couldn't wait outside in the sun to be let in. So let's say, that when Angel sniffed the envelope he breathed in some kind of powder that allowed to walk in sunlight for awhile. Black magic, remember? **


	6. A Not So Restful Stop

**Ah, chapter six. Angel's song will be in chapter seven so you'll have to wait a bit. Anyone else seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and absolutely loved it? **

Chapter Six – Not So Restful Stop

Angel barfed into a nearby trashcan as Janice sighed.

"I told him to close his eyes. At least you listened to me!" Janice patted Fred on the back, who just smiled politely. Angel finally finished and wiped his mouth. Janice pulled a tin out of her pocket and offered it to Angel.

"What is it? Something magic so I feel better?" he asked, cautiously taking the tin.

"No. They're mints. For your breath." Janice walked to the nearest door and Fred laughed.

Angel frowned but popped a couple of the mints in his mouth anyway after smelling his own breath.

"Is this the next room?" Angel coughed. The mints were very strong.

"No." Janice shook her head and opened the door. "We're taking a little break. I'm thirsty."

The room was a giant livingroom with computers and comfy couches and chairs. There was a fireplace, but no fire in it.

"This is nice."

"I spend most of my time in here." Janice walked over a very large refrigerator in the corner. Angel followed her to the fridge while Fred got herself comfortable on the couch. "Want some blood?"

"Uh. . . no thanks." Angel felt uncomfortable being offered blood by a fifteen year old.

"Are you sure. . .?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Janice pulled to bottles of ice cold water out of the fridge and closed the door.

"Um. . . do you have a phone? I need to call someone." Angel asked quietly and Janice pointed to a big black phone on the wall nearby. Angel nodded and Janice joined Fred on the couch. She handed Fred a bottle of water and they sat in silence.

"How did you get control of a Black Magic Factory?" Fred finally asked. "Does Wolfram and Hart have anything to do with this?"

"Not anymore. They used to be in control of the factory until they were so busy the lawyers couldn't keep tabs on the place anymore and put me in charge." Janice explained taking a giant swig of water.

"Why you? Your fifteen! What about your parents? And school?" Fred asked.

"I don't know why they chose me. My parents, well. . . Wolfram and Hart used magic to create an exact clone of me so the clone is living my life at home."

"Don't you miss your friends? Your parents?" Fred whispered.

"Yeah." Janice sighed sadly. "I do miss my parents but my friends know about this."

"They do?"

"I'm supposed to go to the mall with them after you guys leave." Janice checked her watch. Fred laughed but saw that Janice was serious and stopped. They sat in silence once more.

Angel finally got off the phone and joined the pair by standing in front of them. Fred smiled politely and Janice cleared her throat.

"Thanks." Angel dug his hands into his pockets.

"Everything a-okay?" Janice asked and Angel paused before answering. What happened? All of a sudden the witty, sarcastic fifteen year old was gone.

"Yeah. I actually. . ." but Angel didn't get a chance to finish as the door to the room blasted open and landed somewhere across the room.

The blast sent Angel flying, but her easily stood again. Janice stood hurriedly and was slowly followed by Fred. A fiery red colored demon with short horns and beady black eyes stood in front of the trio.

"We have to talk Janice." The demon stated with a deep, rumbling voice.

"I have nothing to say to you, scum." Janice stood her ground. With one quick swoop, the demon had Fred in his clutches. A knife that mysteriously appeared was held to her throat.

Angel went to charge at the demon but the demon easily smacked him away, leaving Angel not choice but join Janice.

"I said 'we have to talk'. Now we talk or she dies. That sound good?" the demon growled and smirked. Janice set her jaw and narrowed her eyes. She looked to Fred and then back at the demon. "I asked you if that sounded good!" The demon yelled and pushed the knife harder into Fred's neck.

"No. That sounds positively atrocious." Janice pulled something out of her pocket. She whispered something and the room began to shake. "I suggest to close your eyes!" Janice yelled or the rumbling at Angel and Fred and they quickly complied.

There was a flash of blinding white light and when Angel was sure it was over, he opened his eyes. Fred was standing, apparently shocked, next to a pile of ash. He rushed to her side.

"You alright?" he asked her.

"Y-y-eah." Fred shakily turned to Janice and so did Angel, just not so shakily. "What was that?"

Janice stuffed whatever she was holding back into her pocket.

"Silly demon," was all she said. "tricks are for kids." Janice laughed and passed out.

**Yes, I know that wasn't humorous like the rest of the story. I told you I didn't write much humor! I promise the rest will be funny, or at least funnier. I'm soon going to post the first chapter of a new story so why don't you check it out when it's up? **


	7. Oops

A/N: I really wanted to post another chapter of this before I got yelled at. I'm doing this on a different computer, hence the reason why no bold or italics show up in this chapter so bear with me, okay? 

(--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)

Chapter Seven - Oops.

Angel and Fred waited until Janice finally awoke and even through pressure, she offered no explanation as to what happened except that: "in the business like this, you should expect to make enemies." Angel had to agree, but still, he had to wonder. . .

"Can we go? Like, now?" Janice interrupted Angel's musings as she tapped her foot where the door used to stand. She glanced at an invisible watch on her wrist to emphasize her impatience and Fred gave Angel a "I-guess-we-better-go" look, which proved to push him along.

Once outside the shattered doorway, Janice stood still and took what little time she thought she had to look both left, right, and confusingly up and down. Angel followed her path of vision and saw nothing of interest except a few white mice scurrying by brushing their whiskers.

"Which way are we going?" Fred whispered, a pointless observation to how quiet the rest of the factory was. Janice dug her hands into the dark recesses of her pockets and sighed. "Excellent question. I was wondering if you would know but then realized that you don't work here." Janice sighed again and headed to the right.

Angel and Fred took this as a cue to follow, though Janice made no attempt to point out such assumptions. Angel, usually fond of the quiet now found it unbearable and needed to speak. "So, are we . . . uh. . ." Angel tried to begin a conversation but Janice sushed him. "Oh, o-okay." Angel closed his mouth as they continued walking. Fred, not wanting to get on anybody's bad side observed the area they were walking and found it it to be strangely familiar.

"Hey! We've been here before like, five times already. We're walking in circles!" Fred paused in the middle of the hallway almost causing a collision with Angel. Janice stopped short as well and looked around. "Well, what do you know. I guess we should've gone up after all"  
"Up?" Angel asked nervously. After all he'd witnessed so far that day, going up with no sign of stairs usually meant something bad.

"Looks like we're going back to the escalator. Make sure to close your eyes this time, huh?" Janice winked at Angel who grumbled. Fred giggled but stopped when Angel glared at her.

1001011011011010111110100000010011011011011010010101101011010

Angel threw up in the nearest trash can and Janice shook her head. Fred offered some sympathy by putting her hand on his back as he heaved. When he was done, Angel had to resist the incredible urge to jump on the girl.  
"What is the point of that if you're not allowed to look!" Angel threw his arms in the air. Janice turned and placed a mint in Angel's hand before responding.  
"It's called. . "  
"Yes. . .?" Angel pressured, expecting some dark secret. That was not the answer he got.  
"FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS! Apparently SOME of us don't know how to do that so let me spell it out for you. I tell YOU to do something and you DO IT!" Janice yelled, straightened her hat and smiled. "Shall we head off then?"

Without waiting for an answer, Janice began to walk off. Both left speechless, Angel and Fred had no other choice but to follow. After about ten or so minutes of walking they reached a blinding white door.

Angel, Fred and Janice shielded thier eyes from the whiteness and Janice cleared her throat. "The room is much darker than the door. I don't remember what happened. Before we step inside, let's face away from the door while I explain what room this is." The trio stepped off to the side and rubbed their eyes. "Okay, this is the Illusion Room or as some call it, the Perfect Happiness Hangout."

"The. . ." Angel laughed but Janice stopped him.  
"Yeah, I know. Not my idea. Anyway, in this room we are testing certian objects - dangerous objects - to see if we can create them to hold an illusion of perfect bliss for the observer. The person, or demon, would then approach the object of danger and experience Doomsday or the like. Shall we go inside now?" Janice pulled three pairs of what looked like sunglasses out of a pocket.

"What are these for?" Fred asked, but put them on her face anyway.  
"Oh, these are to protect you from Doomsday. It unmasks the disguse of the dangerous object so you won't. . . well. . . die." Janice shrugged as if it was obvious. Upon entering the room, all the trio saw was gullotines and other horrible sights. The room was dark, like they were told and candles hung from the ceiling and the walls.

"If there wasn't so much blood, I'd say this room was very pretty." Fred squinted around as she tried to keep the glasses from falling off her nose. Janice was about to explain further how everything worked when there was a crash.

Angel, too tempted by the mystery of how it worked, seemed to think it better to remove the glasses rather than ask like Fred was going to. The Soul-Stealer (available only on the Demon Market! Steal the souls of your enemies or switch them around for a fun party game! Only $11.99 each!) immediatly transformed into the appearence of a VERY naked Buffy lounging on a bed of silk blankets.

"You stupid son of a. . ." Janice moaned as Angel stared in wonder. "Buffy?" he whispered.

1010101111010111011011011101110110101100000001010101101000010101011

A/N - ha, ha! You won't get to see what happens until the next chapter. O.o It'll be soon, don't you worry. Only a couple more chapters left.


	8. Last One to Go

Chapter Eight - The Last One to Go

"Angel! Step away from the naked Buffy!" Janice moaned and stomped her feet but it didn't accomplish anything.

"How do you know it's a nude Buffy he's seeing?" Fred whispered to Janice. Janice sighed.

"It's Angel. What else do you expect him to see?" she explained before turning her attention back to the matter at hand. "GET AWAY FROM THERE RIGHT NOW!" she yelled, but he didn't listen.

Angel was in a complete trance as Buffy beckoned him closer. . . and closer. . . suddenly there was a horrible rattling sound and Fred went to peek over her glasses, but Janice pushed them back on her face forcefully.

"Ow."

"Well, keep em' on then." Janice snapped as the rattling sound was heard again. "ANGEL!" Janice called again.

"Why don't you go get him?"

"Cause then my soul would get stolen. It's so much easier to sort through only one soul rather than two and then if you followed me. . . not fun." Janice shook her head gently at Fred, who nodded in understanding.

"What is that rattling sound?" Fred finally noticed it and looked around, keeping the glasses in place by keeping her finger on the nose piece.

"The Soul-Stealer. It's getting ready to suck his soul." Janice sighed sympathetically and shook her head again.

"Angel! Come back!" Fred joined in with the yelling.

"Buffy?" Angel kept walking closer until he stopped. He felt as if someone had attached a vacuum to his belly button and was sucking out more than lint.

That was what really was happening. The Soul-Stealer detached a long vacuum like arm and attached it to Angel's belly button. Something white and shimmery was seen flowing through it and it traveled into the bottle the Soul-Stealer was made of. Angel dropped to the floor and Fred went to rush to his side, but Janice pulled her back.

"Don't even think about it. He's not Angel now." Janice whispered. Mystical chains floated from nowhere and wrapped themselves securely around Angel(us) as we woke up and struggled to get free. The chains made him float in midair and with his vamp face on, he struggled to be free.

The mice returned and lined up in front of Angel as the music began. . .

_The most important thing, that we've ever learned,_

_The most important thing we've learned,_

_So far as Angel is concerned,_

_Is never, NEVER, NEVER let_

_Him near his Buffy Slayer pet_

_Or better still, just don't go call_

_The idiotic thing at all._

_Never Ever Call her_

_Never Ever Call her_

_Ooh, Ooh _

_Never Ever Call her_

_she rots his senses in the mind!_

_she kills Imagination dead!_

_she clogs and clutters up his mind!_

_she makes perfect bliss not hard to find!_

_To find, to find !_

_He can no Longer understand_

_A fairytale and fairyland!_

_A Fairyland a Fairyland!_

_His brain becomes as soft as cheese!_

_His thinking powers rust and freeze!_

_He cannot think he only sees!_

_He only Sees_

_He only Sees_

_Regarding little Angel, dear_

_We very much regret to hear_

_We'll simply have to wait and see_

_If we can get him back his soul._

_But if we can't it serves him right."_

The mice concluded suddenly and left as Angel(us) was pulled by a mysterious force through a dark tunnel that didn't look like it was there before. Fred watched it leave and then turned to Janice to see her reaction. Her mouth was twisted in a way to show "what a poor man". She patted Fred's back.

"Let's get out of here."

Fred agreed and they left the room. She handed Janice her sunglasses, for they didn't need them anymore, and then just stood there.

"Now what?" she asked sincerely.

"I don't know really." Janice shrugged. "You're the only one left, I'm afraid. No use giving a grand tour to only one person."

"So that's it then? I can just leave?"

"Oh, goodness no! You have to accept your prize!"

"Prize?"

"Yes, for being the last one left, meaning you can face beauty where Gunn failed, stop obsessions where Wesley failed, you can face temptation where Cordelia failed, and you can follow directions where Angel so obviously failed."

"Wow." Was all Fred could think of to say.

"Basically, you have common sense. So, as a prize you get two wishes. Whatever you want, I will grant them for you."

Fred bit her lip and figured this might be the hardest decision she ever had to make. She looked up at the ceiling and then watched some mice scamper by. She thought and thought. Janice was growing slightly impatient, but understood. It would take her awhile too.

Fred could think of nothing she wanted for herself and kept thinking of her friends and of Janice. Did her new friends ever get what they wanted? Did Janice ever get what she wanted?

"I've decided."

"Okay then." Janice pulled out a pen and pad of paper to get ready to write. Darla, the rat, showed up and crawled onto Janice's shoulder ready to deliver the message.

"I've decided that my first wish is that my friends come out of the factory unharmed but. . . but they still have a little bit of what happened to them stay with them for two weeks."

"Uh, huh." Janice scribbled it down quickly and nodded her head. "That was specific. . . and that's good. We don't any orders messed up. And what about the second one?"

"The second one? I'm giving my second wish to you. My second wish is - I wish to give you this wish to do with whatever you please." Fred smiled sweetly as Janice paused writing mid-sentence.

"You're giving. . . you're giving the second wish to me?" Janice lowered the notepad and pointed at herself with the pen.

"Yes. You deserve it."

"Well, thanks. That's great. And I'm not being sarcastic this time." Janice smiled and finished writing. She tore the page out of the notepad and folded it up very small. She placed it in Darla the rat's mouth and placed the rat on the floor.

The rat scampered off down the long hallway and Janice held out her arm to Fred.

"What?" Fred asked.

"Shall I escort you out?" Janice offered. Fred accepted and the pair walked arm in arm down the hallway to the escalator. After making the trip, with their eyes closed, Fred turned to Janice.

"What is so bad that you throw up when you see it."

"Oh. . ." laughed Janice. "It just goes really fast and all these colors swirl around in spirals and make you really dizzy."

"That's all?"

"I guess Angel just had a weak stomach. Twice." They laughed and continued on their way.

(--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)

Janice didn't venture off of the doorstep and told Fred where to go to meet her friends. Despite what Janice was expecting, Fred gave her a big hug before leaving. Janice, though startled, returned it and the two watched the sun disappearing. A door to the right squeaked open.

"They're your friends. Better go." Janice sighed as she watched Fred skip down the stairs to greet her friends. She sighed again as Darla the rat joined her on the doorstep and they watched Fred leave in the convertible.

The dust settled and the night was still. The stars began to come out and Janice yawned.

"I guess I'm not going to the mall." She stretched and walked slowly back into the factory. Darla the rat stayed outside a little longer, looked to the sky and sang to nobody in particular. . .

_Janice Beatrice, Janice Beatrice..._

_The Amazing Magician ._

_Janice Beatrice, Janice Beatrice..._

_Everybody, she's great fun!_

_She's modest, clever, and so smart,_

_she can barely restrain it._

_With so much generosity, _

_There is no way to contain it..._

_To contain...to contain...to contain...to contain._

_Janice Beatrice, Janice Beatrice..._

_she's the one whose magic can't be beat._

_Janice Beatrice, Janice Beatrice..._

_She's a genius who you'd love to meet._

_She does stuff that no one does..._

_The best darn girl with a good cause._

_Janice Beatrice there she was!_

With that, Darla the rat yawned, found a small hole and ran through.

**Fin. . . . . . or is it? **


	9. Epilogue

Epilogue 

So, I'm sure you're all wondering what happened to all our friends? You do remember that Fred wished them unharmed but that something remained, right? Well, here's how they turned out. . .

(-----------------------------)

Gunn was the first one to exit the factory and he had the strong odor of new car leather and a slight feeling of dizziness.

Wesley was next and his fingers had small paper cuts and his skin still had some ink splotches left on it.

Cordelia was left with a that faint stench that you can never seem to get rid of, no matter how hard you scrub your skin.

Angel was last and he was left with a funny feeling around his belly button and the feeling that he saw something and that it was good. . . if he just could remember what it was!

Fred left with new self confidence and a new friend.

As for the wish that Janice made. . . well, we've got to keep some things a secret, don't we?


End file.
